Ryan Lochte reminds us that he’s a buffoon while overshadowing all the Olympic feats

Posted: 08/21/2016 in summer olympics
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The Rio de Janeiro Olympics concluded on Sunday and all the medalists and fantastic performances were overshadowed by one big buffoon.

If you just learned in 2016 that Ryan Lochte is a buffoon, you are four years behind most of us.

But the stellar swimmer overdid himself this time with his silly “over-exaggerating” tale about how he and three other swimmers were held up at gunpoint and robbed.

Over-exaggerating is slang for … lying a lot.

Athletes like the 32-year-old Lochte are used to having officials and public relations’ bobos help get them out of trouble and then spin a story that is nowhere close to the truth.

So it stands to reason that the 12-time medalist felt he could over-exaggerate (um, fib like crazy) and make the Rio de Janeiro police sound like gun-happy militants when the real truth was that he acted like a immature teenager and vandalized a gas station bathroom.

Do you know anyone who has vandalized a gas station bathroom? I know I don’t.

The fact that four U.S. Olympic swimmers think that rates as a fun time is pretty despicable.

In fact, Lochte isn’t the only buffoon in this episode. Let’s get those other names out there too — James Feigen, Jack Conger and Gunnar Bentz.

Lochte, Feigen, Conger and Bentz — also known as America’s Four Buffoons.

Keeping alcohol away from this foursome is probably a good thing. Lochte is now claiming that he was still under the influence of alcohol the following day when he was first told his tale to the media. Pretty sure that means he was drunker than Jim Morrison in concert.

Translation: Fill up the Olympic swimming pool with alcohol and Lochte can and will drink it all.

Too bad there isn’t an Olympic drinking competition. Lochte would be a shoo-in for another gold medal.

Lochte did win one gold medal in swimming in these Olympics but his out-of-the-pool exploits and dishonesty overshadowed the stellar performances of some other Americans.

Namely fellow swimmers Michael Phelps (five gold, one silver) and Katie Ledecky (four gold, one silver) as well as gymnast Simone Biles (four gold, one bronze).

The United States won 46 golds overall. Biles became a household name with some stunning performances. Jamaica sprinter Usain Bolt once again proved there is nobody in the world who can keep up with him.

But what people will remember more than anything is that Ryan Lochte is a gigantic dummkopf.

Know this: U.S. Olympic Committee CEO Scott Blackmun didn’t find anything funny about Lochte’s act. Blackmun says disciplinary action is forthcoming for Lochte and his three partners in drunken buffoonery.

“They let down our athletes,” Blackmun said. “They let down Americans. And they really let down our hosts in Rio who did such a wonderful job, and we feel very badly about that.

“I think we ended up in the right place in terms of being able to shine a light on what really happened there.”

Whatever discipline comes down is more than deserved. And the best thing about this silly caper is that Lochte wrecked his own endorsement value.

Any company that chooses to line up with Lochte is misguided. So I say no chance you will have to see his silly, smug mug on any television commercials.

One thing about the Olympics is that these athletes pretty much disappear for four years. Nobody will pay much attention to athletes like Ledecky or Biles over the next 3 1/2 years but everyone will be back on board when the 2020 Olympics arrive.

Oh yeah, 2020. Lochte, who will then be 36, plans to compete in Tokyo.

At that point, there won’t be anybody learning for the first time that Lochte is a buffoon.

He has cemented that crown and it is forever part of his lore.

I see Lochte is from North Carolina. The state infamous for the misguided bathroom gender law.

He can brag about that his “buffoon crown” the next time he vandalizes a gas station bathroom.


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