The “MVP” chants for disgraced Ryan Braun will forever be pronounced “MVPee”

Posted: 07/22/2013 in baseball, Sports Disgrace
Tags: , , , , , , , ,

At least Ryan Braun figured out a way to save us from more meaningless talk about the Royal Baby.

But wow, Braun revealed what we already all suspected — that he is a complete fraud.

The 2011 National League MVP – MVPee fits him much, much better – was suspended without pay for the rest of the 2013 season on Monday for violating Major League Baseball’s drug policy.

Good ol’ “Lying Ryan” – stealing Ryan Leaf’s well-earned title – is now sorry that he didn’t obey baseball’s policies against performance-enhancing drugs. The Milwaukee Brewers outfielder says he now realizes he made mistakes and that the situation has created stress for him and his family.

Let’s cut this down to the real truth – Ryan Braun is sorry for only one thing:

That he got caught.

Remember, this guy trashed the reputation of a urine sample collector named Dino Laurenzi Jr. and got a reprieve from a 50-game suspension due to a technicality over the handling of his sample.

A few months later, Braun faced the media in spring training in Feb. 2012 and defiantly criticized all the people who wrongly accused of him of being a cheater. He said things like “the simple truth is I’m innocent” and “I would bet my life this substance never entered my body.”

Based on the way this doper asserted that he didn’t do anything wrong 17 months ago in front of a large media throng, he needs to get himself in front of the media again within the next 48 hours and face all the questions he has been running from and doesn’t want to answer.

Braun decided to take the Lance Armstrong approach – lie, lie, lie and deny, deny, deny – and a wimpy 130-word statement doesn’t cut it.

There is a reason why athletes are known for their talents and not for intelligence. These guys continue to think they can lie their way out of a drug policy violation because these guys lie about other things all the time.

You would think the Rafael Palmeiro finger-wagging session before Congress – and Palmeiro’s suspension a few months later after angrily denying he ever used steroids – would have been enough to stifle these dingbats or scare them straight.

But guys like Braun and Alex Rodriguez think little about honesty. And the reputations of both players are fully shot and they have joined Barry Bonds, Mark McGwire and Palmeiro as embarrassments to the game of baseball.

Remember, Ryan Braun thought nothing of destroying the life of a guy like Laurenzi. Now that it is official that Braun is a fraud, Laurenzi is about to become a very rich man once he hires a lawyer to file a defamation suit.

Milwaukee fans like to serenade Braun with chants of “MVP, MVP, MVP.” From this moment on and for the rest of Braun’s career, here is the accurate version of that chant:

“MVPee, MVPee, MVPee.”

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