First of the month rant – February: Can I summon commercials away from the TV?

Posted: 02/04/2012 in first of the month rant, football
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

You know the drill on Super Bowl Sunday – you can’t run to the bathroom during timeouts because nobody wants to have to rewind the television to show you the commercial you missed.

Of course, you can’t use the restroom during the action because nobody wants to pause the television set during the middle of a drive either.

What a dilemma for your poor bladder if you are downing sodas or cold beers at the same pace Tom Brady and Eli Manning are throwing darts downfield.

But why such an infatuation with Super Bowl commercials anyway? And how silly it is that advertisers are willing to pay so much money for a 30-second clip.

The average commercial price for Sunday’s Super Bowl in Indianapolis between the New York Giants and New England Patriots is $3.5 million. That’s a lot of coin for 30 seconds.

Makes me wonder if that money could be put to better use.

How about if Coca-Cola decided to purchase two less commercials and give bonuses to all their loyal employees?

What if Budweiser skipped a couple commercials and cut the cost of a 12-pack by a buck?

What if told Danica Patrick to get lost instead of airing the typical must-visit-the-Website to see how it ends trick it pulls every year.

Oh wait, now that Danica Patrick won’t be racing in the Indy 500, Super Bowl Sunday will be the only day we remember she exists. Danica really needs the Go Daddy gig.

But isn’t it silly that companies continue to pay such high rates for 30 seconds of airtime with the troubles the economy has been facing in recent years? Why not reinvest in the company or give away an extra $3.5 million to different charities that help disadvantaged people?

Heck, why not just send me $35,000 just for the heck of it. That might even prompt me to switch from Diet Coke to Diet Pepsi. (You are on the clock, Pepsi … my contact info is in the upper right of the screen).

The average commercial price for last year’s Super Bowl between the Green Bay Packers and Pittsburgh Steelers was $3 million so you can see the leap in price. By next year, the average price is expected to be over $4 million.

Think about this too – these companies easily spend another million or two with production and filming and finding the right actors that fit their brand and portray their messages. So the real cost to a company is even higher.

Perhaps some people recall last year’s commercials but I have no idea which one was the best last year. Nor do I ever go out and buy something just because a company’s commercial was good.

This commercial stuff just makes no sense to me.

Some of us are more interested in the game – not in commercials or seeing Grandma Madonna onstage at halftime.

If you don’t think there is too much unnecessary stuff associated with the Super Bowl, consider this: Bookmakers released odds on whether or not Kelly Clarkson will flub up the national anthem – what, is she going to “Breakaway” with her own version?

Oh yeah, that’s right — Christina Aguilera couldn’t get all the words straight last year.

I get that one now.

Look, I’ve covered three Super Bowls and nobody inside the stadium has any clue what is going on during those incredibly long breaks in play. Never heard anybody at the game worrying about missing a commercial.

And Sunday’s halftime will be 31 minutes long as opposed to the 12-minute break during the regular season. Totally unfair to the players to have such a drastic change in the typical routine.

But players quickly learn one thing when they enter the league – what’s best for them doesn’t matter to NFL owners. All that matters is making money.

And if companies are willing to hand over boatloads of cash to the NFL and television networks, those greedy folks are more than willing to open their hands and try to catch all the bills.

So count on me to be more interested in the game than the commercials – well, unless “The Summoner” shows up on TV in the AT&T commercial.

You know – the one where the gal asks the guy if he is checking out the game on his phone during a dinner date, which is followed up with this now-famous reply.

“What am I like some kind of summoner who can just summon footage to his phone like that? C’mon?’”

Ahhhhhh, not good. I’m now wondering if AT&T will shell out the cash to give The Summoner some much-deserved air-time on television’s biggest stage.

If only I could summon my own footage … at my price.


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